Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize