Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
