i came on her dog
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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