Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize