I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
