just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
