didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
