He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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