Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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