wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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