I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
