you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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