If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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