And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize