I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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