im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
FUCK WHALES
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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