you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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