it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
