I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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