She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
