I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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