My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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