Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
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do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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