i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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