You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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