It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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