My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
