I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
