I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.