Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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(440): View more from Ohio

eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(

(1-440): View more from Ohio

just blow him with soup in your mouth.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(585): View more from New York

I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.

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