i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
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I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now