Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.