Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.