pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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