Small penises have feelings too.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize