you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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