My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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