somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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