Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
