My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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