Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize