it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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