All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
