Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
