why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
