The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
