I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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