so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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