i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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