I didn't shave. On purpose
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
