Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Drunk is not a location!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
