I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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