he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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