just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
