He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
