i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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