I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All the doctor said was why
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
