You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
