she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize