Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
