All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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